89. STEPHEN FRY: Ultimate self-help book
Stephen Fry (1957-) is a modern day Renaissance man (comedian, author, actor, playwright, director, documentary-maker, TV host, radio host, journalist) and all-around creative titan. Fry has a formidable intellect which I find myself constantly in awe of – I love hearing his views on science, religion, technology, history and the arts. If only I could take out his brain and put it into my head.
Fry has documented his life in two best-selling memoirs, Moab is my Washpot and The Fry Chronicles. I’m embarrassed to admit I haven’t read either. Are they as great as I’m told?
– Thanks to Kaber for submitting this. It was taken from this 2007 television interview.
– A couple of nice, lengthy video interviews from Big Think and Splash Life.
– The official Stephen Fry website.
Discussion (187) ¬
Another fantastic piece of work Gav. Thank you again for encapsulating the word so well into a beautiful comic.
what a crazy fat man 😀
why is he crazy??
Really?? Is that all you have to say? What an interesting person you must be.
Brilliant quote, to be sure. One minor quibble: You’ve obviously gotten Fry’s likeness right, and even have his name on his imagined book, so I’m assuming the character is Stephen Fry, who happens to be gay, so I don’t think he’d have a girlfriend in his couple shot.
Just re-read the comic – my mistake. The character is not Fry, but someone who’s bought the imagined book. 🙂
It seems to be a fairly common ZenPencils trend to use the speakers as the basis for characters in comics. Not all the time, and I couldn’t pinpoint one without going back through all the archives to find another example (which I normally wouldn’t object to, but it’s been a really busy day for me without getting to spend any time on projects that I want to work on/need to prioritize, so… yeah…). I expect the similarities are intentional even if the intent is not for the character to actually be Fry.
The character isn’t meant to be Stephen Fry, hope it doesn’t confuse.
I just wanted to point out that Stephen Fry’s sexuality (just like many others) sexuality is more complex than just falling in love with a gender. He fell in love with his make up artist when he was young and would have asked her out, but Rowan Aktison did it first. I think and hope that most people just leave the gender question behind and fall in love with people. Not sexes. (yeah, my English isn’t that good. Just tell me if I stop making sense.)
“I think and hope that most people just leave the gender question behind and fall in love with people. Not sexes.”
I agree, no need to label it anything other than love.
You make perfect sense. <3
I agree, we should love everyone.
What i dont like is the point that “sexuality is complicated”….Its not.
Sexuality is an instinct. You are male, you’re attracted to females. You are female, you’re attracted to males. sexuality is attraction to reproduction. Simple.
Quite correct. Sexuality is an instinct. It just so happens that some peoples instincts lead them to be attracted to the same sex, reproduction be damned. Simple. Where it becomes complicated is figuring out who you are as a person and then pursuing what you want in a mate until you finally find the one person in this world who makes you happier than any other. Thats where it gets complicated. When you start boiling down sexuality to just a means to an end (e.g., reproduction) you lose the whole essence of love. Its much, much, more than that.
I think Terese put it beautifully, and that is exactly how I will teach my children someday. Thank you Terese. Your English is perfectly fine. Couldn’t have said it better myself. 🙂
I am a woman attracted to both men and women. I don’t see gender. I just see love.
I happen to be in love with a man. I’ve dated and loved women too. I have never wanted kids. So yes, reproduction be damned, because, not everyone wants kids. More importantly, not everyone should have kids. Harsh? Yes. People who beat there kids, shouldn’t have them. People who keep their kids just to get a tax break, wic checks, and food stamps, shouldn’t have kids. That being said, I don’t think they should have their rights taken away for it (in case someone decided to try to go there thinking I’m that kind of person.
Anyway, awesome comic. I love Stephen Fry. I’ve seen the quote before, but I love that it’s now visual.
Keep it going. Love it.
Great comment, thanks Brittany 🙂
Bisexuality is a great view to have in my opinion (though i guess it’s not the right word for it in this case [‘individual-case-by-case-basis-sexuality?’]). I always personally held onto the view that if i was ever attracted to someone, i would not let the person’s gender or sexuality get in the way of whether or not i would attempt to go out with them. It’s a very open way to look at it and so much more refreshing an outlook on life.
In practice though it never quite worked out that way. My attraction has always gone over to the female side (i’m male btw) and there’s never once been a male who i could say i was sexually attracted to.
At least i considered it, rather than remained close minded.
Also, Moab is my washpot is a fantastic read. It’s also the most difficult book i’ve ever read. You have to come up gasping for air after every chapter, so easy it is to become lost in the tangled mire that is Mr. Fry’s thought processes.
Am i the only one who thinks that people are getting distracted from the actual message of the comic? 😛
This is so true. I went through something painful recently and getting through the days were difficult. Then you realize that no one could help yourself but yourself. People will be there for you but you will have to make the final decision on your own. I’m glad you made this comic. It would be a great reminder for all of us with things where we have to pull ourselves together as we try to get there, one day at a time.
Great quote, beautiful comic. I heard the entire quite In his voice. For some reasoni though he ended with ‘dubstep is my life’
THANKS! thanks a lot for your drawings, they have helped me to cope with some episodes I’ve lived (nice and hideous ones) but right now the timing on this one couldn’t be better. Keep-awesomelyasalways-going on!!
I am so glad you decided to illustrate this Gavin. This quote was life changing for me and now thanks to you more people will see it and hopefully it’ll spark renewed vigour in a lot of people. Keep up the excellent work and thank you for choosing this 🙂
Thanks again for submitting it 🙂
Thank you, Gav.
Not only for doing a quote from a man whom I have utmost respect for.. but for timing it so perfectly.
You see, about 10 years ago I made a mistake and wasn’t there for someone who I loved and as a result lost her from my life.
It has taken me this long to deal with the self pity and finally finally be a free man.
It is one of the hardest things to do.. to forgive yourself. I am glad I was able.
Thank you for sharing, good luck to you
Yes, Moab is fantastic – funny, painful, and honest. Didn’t know he’d continued, I’ll have to go find that now!
Wow Gavin, I really like how the subjects of your cartoons are so diverse and yet you manage to relate to everyone at the same time. Thanks so much for these cartoons, man!
I like it! MOAR!
POWERFUL STUFF! I have to say I’m guilty of feeling self-pity. Recently, I made the decision of stop feeling sorry for my current circumstances and appreciate what I do have. Like the comic says, it’s bloody hard, but I know I can do it.
I’m not familiar with Stephen Fry, I’m going to check out his website now.
I think I have a new favorite comic! Great job, Gavin!
Thanks Monica, oh Fry is great, glad I could introduce you to him
Excellent work, Gav – this is one of your best. Thanks so much for sharing your talent!
Don’t know why the song ‘the eye of the tiger’ comes to mind when i see the moment he put on his head band.
Funny… I was thinking the same way. I imagine a scene in Rocky long, long time ago
Excellent advice, made all the more poignant by Fry’s openness about his bipolar disorder. So when he says ‘It’s bloody hard!’ he knows what he’s talking about.
don’t forget his sexual orientation as well.
which is totally irrelevant.
But might be making things harder for him?
Stephen’s sexual orientation won’t make things harder. The bigotry of others who insist it’s relevant might.
Generally people are raised straight, even if They would be accepted as gay. If someone raised straight was gay, it might cause some internal turmoil.
So it is possible that it would caiuse trouble without bigotry.
Let’s be careful about calling people bigots for saying that his sexual preference might have caused him hardship. They may be struggling through the same things and commenting because they feel this speaks to them, too. Generalization has a bad problem of alienating and segregating people, the same way bigotry does.
They certainly are – well, the first definitely is, I haven’t read the second yet. But his fiction novels are also fantastic. You should definitely check those out. Just be prepared to have your vocabulary expanded as a consequence…
I was terrified for a moment the end of the comic was him flopping back down in bed as the quote rounded out. Then to see the last few panels as he gets up and opens the curtains and gets his track gear was elating.
Amazing how invested I all ready was in the character who I knew only as ‘fat lonely guy’.
Okay I admit, I too, have also not read either of Stephen Fry’s books – but I absolutely LOVE Stephen Fry to bits! I think he is an amazing man (I love him on QI!) and in all the other UK TV shows/media (even in the latest Sherlock Holmes movie!) I’ve seen him in…he is so witty and intelligent. I wish he was a friend of mine! lol Anyways, another fantastic piece Gav!!! love it! 🙂
OMG Gavin! It’s like you looked into my soul! I recently lost 80 pounds, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and took back my life!
Booyah!
Ah why did this comic make me cry?? So beautiful. And so poignant.
I love Stephen Fry. I haven’t read his biographies but if you’re looking for some good fiction, his novel ‘The Star’s Tennis Balls’ isn’t a bad read.
This is the real thing in the pursuit of happiness. There’s not a pursuit, is the feeling to be happy doesn’t matters what else can happen.
Sorry for the bad english, greetings from Mexico.
It’s like i’m lookin’ at myself, and this is just… Oh damn…
I need this on my wall.
Will you make this as a print?
beautiful quote Gav…
Mr. Fry is a brilliant man. If you ever get a chance to watch QI, or Blackadder then do so. His Twitter feed is also interesting.
This is just so damn awesome!!! 😀
Stephen Fry has to be one of the most entertaining men alive today. If you want to spend several hours laughing your ass off look up the show “QI” on YouTube. Fry hosts it and it is thoroughly entertaining.
As always Awesome work Gav. I thought for a moment that comic ended with the sleeping scene, but you continued from there. Yes comics are indeed more powerful than words.
*teary eyed… this is beautiful.
Gave me reason to keep striving,thanks again 🙂
Awww this is just great Gav, I really enjoyed reading this piece, as it especially resonates with where I am in life right now. So thank you for the reminder and inspiring work – keep doing what you’re doing!! We all love it 🙂
Both books are amazing, as are his novels. Go read them!
Stephen Fry [email protected]
Goodness, someone has turned a thing I once said into a comic strip – https://zenpencils.com/comic/89-stephen-fry-ultimate-self-help-book/ …
You got his attention. 🙂
Yay, Mr Stephen Fry has seen the comic and shared it!
https://twitter.com/stephenfry/status/260678813430714369
Thanks for another wonderfully drawn post. And the message is very timely for me too. I was going through some very tough times and I thought “Hey, Let me go ahead and check ZenPencils”. Voila. You did it again and brightened up my day. Congratulations on Mr. Fry liking your comic!
Haven’t read his latest memoir, but Moab is my washpot is a charming and disarmingly candid account of his difficult youth – -and remarkable ‘comeback’, as it were.
tempted to order chronicles right now but I’m boycotting Amazon atm
Great strip… and I was in fact led here by the man himself, so as the comment above says, you got his attention.
On a separate note, both of his bios are excellent and definitely worth reading. They are exactly what I would expect from such a master – beautifully written and witty but unexpectedly, also very… raw.
Yes, both books are really good. A special treat is to listen to The Fry Chronicles as an audiobook, read by Stephen himself.
Loved the comic. Spot on!
Utterly brilliant. A message I certainly need to hear from time to time, but delivered with compassion. Love it.
I was also lead here from Stephen Fry’s twitter feed. Both his books are quite wonderful and best heard in his own voice. He’s a great orator as well as writer and the rest! I loved the comic strip too…..will go and investigate your site now. 🙂 thanks.
How can someone… Be so good at doing this… I love your work, I hope this will go on for many many years. Thanks
Another here from Stephen’s twitter feed. As someone who grew up in the UK with the ‘alternative’ comedy scene of the 80’s, he is absolutely one of my heroes. Thanks for doing this, Gav. However, this is a ‘Hollywood ending’ and being the typical British cynic that I am, my ending would be ‘lonely guy’ getting laughed at by kids in the street, going home and crawling back into bed. Reinforcing the point that it is hard, there will be setbacks and it’s a constant battle with yourself. Like depression, alcoholism or smoking. There’s no magic wand.
To friends across the pond who don’t know of Stephen Fry, google ‘Stephen Fry Craig Ferguson’ to see a one-on-one interview with him on American TV from 23/2/10 (or 2/23/10 if you want to be all American about it!) where you’ll get a sense of what he’s about.
All the best from Liverpool, England.
I’m fond of saying, “‘Simple’ is not ‘easy'”.
The Fry Chronicles is fantastic! Read it on the iPhone app and enjoyed every minute! Wit, self-humor, and utter candidness
So, I can’t get my hands on a print of this fast enough.
I know that Stephen Fry quote all too well… the narrative of this may as well be my last few years.
As it is every artists goal to create something that evokes an emotional reaction from their viewers, I can only say Congratulations and well done sir. Brilliant work.
Thanks so much for this!! It is SO easy to get caught up in what isn’t going great, in comparing one’s life to that of others…unproductive if you don’t remember what IS going well, and decide to make things happen – and it IS the hardest thing! New quote for me, and LOVE how you’ve interpreted it!! Thanks thanks thanks!
Great cartoon and very true words.
Wow. Stephen Fry’s Tweet brought me here and this couldn’t have said it any better. I need to stop, I just can’t. Yet. I know it will come eventually, and this comic – or rather, a work of art – probably fast forwarded me a couple of weeks or even months.
love it. 😀
Good one, Mr. Fry.
i can definitely use this. thanks! great work stephen fry!
Hey, I just wanted to give a short review On his two books since you asked.
Moab and Chronicles are, to put it bluntly, Pure unfiltered Stephen Fry, They are everything that makes him good, shockingly honest, heartbreaking in parts but mostly just amazingly funny, insightful and, I have to reiterate, Honest. I’m Talking breath taking honesty you rarely see in autobiographic of his piers here, which normaly amount to so much ego and Self pity wollowing as to make them almost unreadable without wanting to burn the bloody things.
He never plays the “woe is me” card, he tells it straight and never once talks down or tries to hide behind his words. They are two of the best books and certainly two of the best Autobios you will ever find.
I have to add mind, Get the Audio books over printed media, Stephens telling of his story is so much more impactful and wonderful to listen too then any voice your head come come up with.
Thanks for the reviews Danial, I’ll try and get the audio books.
I completely agree. I love Stephen Fry and think he makes a valid point but it is clearly an over simplification to suggest that overcoming distress/low mood etc irrespective of it’s causes can be achieved in this manner. I think it can help to adopt that mindset in certain situations but by no means in all and could certainly be unethical and grossly invalidating to suggest in many. I think he’s just trying to highlight the unhelpful was of rumination in some circumstances.
Love this one man!
You made my day yet again.
Wow! This one’s definitely an instant favorite in my book!
Lately, I’ve been trying to get healthier, with emphasis on exercising more. I visit this site often (probably have gone through all of them twice over at this point–great for reflecting!), but for extra motivation I put up some of the quotes featured on Zen Pencils around my room. They work great! (especially the Roosevelt one–The Man In The Arena)
Once I saw today’s update, I was instantly inspired: I stepped up on the nearest treadmill and ran 3 entire miles! I usually only get up to 2! Bonus Points: I already went swimming & did floor exercises this morning(!)
These comics are powerful. Keep up your amazing work!
Great to hear Lindsay! I’m honoured my stuff can motivate you to run an extra mile 🙂
Nice One! Must have a print of this one. And everyone should listen to Fry Chronicles. It’s even better when you hear it from Stephen himself!
Awesome Gav. Too close to home, but good!
He’s not trying to be brilliant, he’s real…see this documentary…and he’s not even what most of you think ….
http://documentaryheaven.com/stephen-fry-the-secret-life-of-the-manic-depressive/
As someone who tend to suffer from this, this comic speaks volumes to me.
At last I find out where did Barney Stinson learned that. It reminded me of the episode where he said “when I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead”
Hey this is me, my story; Now where is my bandana?
Anyone has a tip about non physical appearance related self pity? I just hate it and it drives me to self hate, not much better, I dunno what I’m doing with myself.
Sports, they’re fun even if you’re already in shape.
Go out.
Do stuff.
Find a way to serve other people.
And btw, I feel you bro, I really do.
Just kick yourself in the butt more.
Do it.
I strongly disagree with the entire premise of this cartoon. Sometimes, we really have been really, really hard done by (e.g. a child who was badly abused for example), and by telling young unhappy people that they are just feeling sorry for themselves you are teaching them that it’s their own fault they can’t just be happy, and it makes it seem hopeless. I struggled with this for a long time, blaming myself for my unhappiness, and it was only when I finally, finally realized that, no, I *was* really badly hard done by – and fully indulged in some self-pity over that, and acceptance, and realization of the nature of what had happened – ONLY then was I finally able to start the process of becoming happy, and healing and moving on. To tell a child who was abused, it’s your own fault, stop feeling sorry for yourself – it’s wrong – what a weight that places on their shoulders … acknowledging that yes, something bad happened – that really helps lift the weight off their shoulders.
What I have noticed is also that it is the biggest sociopaths who tell you “stop feeling sorry for yourself” – it is precisely society’s bullies, society’s abusers, the ones who are committing the harm.
William Gibson said it best: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”
What a very insightful message David. Thanks for sharing, especially the William Gibson quote. Maybe @Gav should do a comic about that one. I think there’s always many sides to a story. And everyone has their own perspective or opinion that should be respected. Just an insight though: my friend who works as a psychiatrist said that sometimes people who dwell in self-pity find some sort of emotional gratification. in the end it doesnt prove to be healthy so it’s always a challenge to rise above it and take control of one’s life and push towards a goal..
I completely agree. I love Stephen Fry and think he makes a valid point but it is clearly an over simplification to suggest that overcoming distress/low mood etc irrespective of it’s causes can be achieved in this manner. I think it can help to adopt that mindset in certain situations but by no means in all and could certainly be unethical and grossly invalidating to suggest in many. I think he’s just trying to highlight the unhelpful was of rumination in some circumstances.
*unhelpfulness
It is unhelpful to use hypothetical examples when talking about self-help, because self help is rather paradoxical and when using hypothetical examples, we tend to lose that.
As someone (Colin, maybe) said above: simple is not easy. You know the thing with taking responsibility is saying, yes so this happened, now i can either let this define my life, or take control. self-pity prevents us from taking control, because we can only focus on either taking control or feeling self pity. Both these thoughts have a capacity to overwhelm our minds and completely consume and drown out all other thoughts!
Here’s why I don’t think this comic is victim blaming –
I think there’s a certain distinction to draw between self-pity and having compassion for yourself. Self-pity is an excuse to wallow for longer than is necessary, say that you’re broken forever and there’s nothing to do to fix that. Self-compassion acknowledges that yeah, you’ve been hurt in the past but that you’re strong enough to overcome the difficulties you have faced and you will face. It is definitely not self-punishment or believing that the rejection you’ve faced is your fault.
I say this as someone who wallowed about the end of my first serious relationship for almost a year, believing that I was an unhealthy, crazy person and that I should never be in any relationships instead of acknowledging my humanity and his humanity. I’m going on a date with a guy next weekend though, so that means I’m getting better!
By the end of the comic I was cheering for the guy “Yeah! Go out and conquer that world, man! “
I love Stephen Fry, he is one of my faves, I watch him every chance I get. Just to let you know, I linked here from his twitter feed. Not sure if anyone mentioned it or not, as I couln’t read all of the comments right now.
Very Profound 🙂
This Quomic is so inspiring seeing as I just had that thought the other day, about it being not so easy, and it really doesn’t get any easier, you just keep getting better at it. Lovely quomic.
I can recommend both of his books. Honest and thoughtful and I have so much respect for Stephen Fry. I wish I could be as witty or as intelligent!
Love this comic 😀
Spot on with this write-up, I really think this website wants way more consideration. I’ll probably be once more to learn way more, thanks for that info.
Just want to congratulate you for one of the most beatiful drawings I have ever seen here. I saw myself in a exactly same situation a couple of years ago – brought some tears in my eyes. Looking some place to hang it here, definitely going to buy it. Excellent work!
Your comics are amazing!! Inspirational and beautiful. A quote with your unique vision creates a greater impact on a person. Hope you do lots more !! Wish you the best and much success!
So.. motivational.
As a person who recently climbed out of the deepest hole of self-pity, I find this quote and comic very spot-on, and inspirational. Self-pity almost destroyed me by shoving me in the path to suicide.
I also happen to be a fan of Stephen Fry myself, like the comic author said, he has a brilliant and compassionate mind.
You make my skin crawl with hope.
Thank you for any other informative site. Where else could I get that type of information written in such a perfect approach? I have a undertaking that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been on the glance out for such information.
I hope you don’t mind but I linked this comic in a blog post I made titled “When does one stop feeling sorry for themselves?” @
http://noworneverifatall.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/213/
You can check it out, and if you find that you want me to remove reference to zen pencils, I will.
Regardless, thanks for all the work that you put into Zen Pencils. I may not frequent it often, but when I do, I always get something out of it.
I cried at the end of this comic. I’ve been in that place, and to see him throw open the blinds, smile, and head outside–ill-fitting pants and shirt be be damned–made me uncontrollably happy.
It is astounding that I could feel that much empathy in a 31 panel comic. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it.
Hi Gav, I wanted to know why you chose to end the quote in the middle of the storyline than at the end. I get that ‘Its bloody hard’ would be something difficult to depict.
I only just discovered your fabulous comics a few minutes ago, and already I am hooked. Well played, sir.
And yes, his memoirs are as great as you’re told.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on poetry. Regards
Whenever i start feeling short of inspiration..i just visit your work… nd bingo! it gives me answers to the questions i didnt know! THANK YOU 🙂
I love the rendering of “FryDaddy” (as I so affectionately call him) in the book. Great job! <3
I know you must already know this, but it never gets tiring to hear it. Sometimes this is what you need when you have the artists’ equivalent of a writer’s block.
To the artist:
You are GOOD at what you do. Keep at it. Your work turns out to be an inspiration and motivation for others…
Awesome! Such a deep thought in the comic strip! Feeling sorry for ourselves is the most important thing we should let go of.
Hello Gav,
Sorry to bother you but this comic is amazing. Any chance of it being available as a poster?
I do like this comic, but I’m not sure about the casual equation of fat with unhealthy and unhappy, and the change in attitude meaning he decides to go outside and exercise. (Although, I didn’t actually think of him as fat until that point, merely out of shape.) It seems like an easy cliche and I believe you could think of something better.
Love this. Going to share far and wide 🙂
Keep up the good work 🙂
tanck you for this comic
game g9g
Utterly brilliant. A message I certainly need to hear from time to time, but delivered with compassion. Love it.
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I was going through some self pitying myself for almost more that a month, this was really an eye opener, thanks a lot gav 🙂
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I was totally hunting down. A commitment of thankfulness is all together for such post and please keep it up.
If the worst happens and you are involved in an accident , dash cameras are a gret way of proving responsibility.
i am always looking for some free stuffs over the internet. there are also some companies which gives free samples.
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You make me laugh, you make me cry. Your work / comics are awesome, and helps me a lot. Thank you!
Yes, another great cartoon on youre site- Thank you!
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Writing is my time machine, takes me to the precise time and place I belong.
Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it
Thank you Gavin for your “STEPHEN FRY: Ultimate self-help book” comic post
http://vuelosdelalma.blogspot.com/2013/11/kampung-inggris-pare-kediri.html
This one. This just great. In a way you made his book. And it works ! Thanks a lot !
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. Charles Darwin
Excellent one.
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